Good Enough Ghosts

"Do you guys know Alpha?"  Harry asked.
"I'm part of his family," Omega said.  "Why?"
"We had a chance to go visit him when we died, but we didn't go,"  Buddy sighed.  "Hindsight. . . "
"Why didn't you go?"  Omega wondered.
"We  thought we could still get girls and have big fun, but we were wrong,"  Jeremy said.  "Oh, there are girls in our dimension, but I gotta admit, they are sort of creepy.   OK, they are really creepy."
"So we just try to scare the girls on the earth,"  Buddy said.  "Scare 'em real good."

"You guys all got girls,  how'd you do that?"  Jeremy asked.
"Yep,"  Larry said.  "Good ones too."
"How'd you do that?"  Buddy said.
"You gotta be a good guy," Tim said.
"Gotta be nice."
"Gotta be a love."
"Gotta be good."

"That kinda stuff?"  Buddy asked.
"Yep," said Rick.  "All that stuff."

"We thought all you had to be was cool."
"We thought all you had to be was sexy."
"We thought all you had to be was cute."

'You wish,"  Larry said.  "OK, it does help if you are cute."  Larry lifted both his eyebrows, a tease,
and grinned.

"Girls don't like it if you are weak."
"Girls don't like it if you are mean."
"Girls don't like it if you are dumb and lazy."

"Mainly,"  Omega said.  "You have to be alive.  That's basic."

"Oh, all right," Harry said.

Then a roaring sound reached the basement windows and rattled the window frames.  The crew walked upstairs to see what was happening.   The sound of the wind got bigger and bigger, and then bigger again.  Bigger.  The old church began to rattle and cracks appeared in the walls.  Then a turret fell off, and a steeple or two, the front foyer.  Bricks began to fly in every direction at once.  The sound was horrendous.  The screaming heebee jeebees.  The sounds of nails being  pulled out of boards left chills and goose bumps on Larry's arms.  Tim's tummy was queasy.     Hymnals flew every which way.  Pews, or those long benches, flew upwards toward the ceiling, then crashed back towards the floor.

The every thing went quiet.  An eerie, creepy quiet.

The kids walked outside to see what had happened to the neighborhood.

Nothing had happened to the neighborhood.  The tornado had only one landing point.
The church.  The half block where the church stood was the only parcel to have damage.

"Did you do that?"  Omega asked, indicating the three teen ghosts,

"We can rattle tea cups."
"And we can squeaky open a door."
"We can moan and grown in the furnace pipes."

"But, we can do that,"  Harry said.  "We're not good enough ghosts."